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Feminism

Back in the days where I was a total mess after a bad breakup, I worked hard to put up my brave front, shed no tears and face everyday with an aggressive attitude. I tried so hard just to tell myself that I'm fine being on my own and I do not need anybody else to complete my life.

And I was called a feminist, not really in a good way.

I felt truly insulted. I don't know, but it feels like feminist is somebody who is not lovable nor approachable. It feels like a feminist is equivalent of being alone and meant to be a virgin for the rest of her life.

It took me years to realize that feminism is not that bad after all. In fact, it is something I should be proud of.

I'm not going to talk in depth about the first and second waves of feminism in the history. I'm just going to talk about feminism in the present, where many people would assume that "it's just a bunch of females getting butthurt over some random shit".

Recently, my class had been told something like "alright, for the boys, you all should aim for something like engineering or computing, for the girls, it's fine if you don't want to aim for those kind of things, teachers would be good enough, but boys, please don't just aim for teachers".
It is not the first time I heard something similar to that, and I know that it will not be the last time. And that is exactly the problem.

Why do we expect something out of somebody based on his or her gender?

For the past few centuries, male scientists always get the most credits. I challenge you to name more than 5 famous female scientists. I'm gonna bet that 80% of you are not be able to do so.

Why are girls not being taught to embrace their own sexuality, but to hide it instead?

Alright, this is a serious issue that has been around since... I have no idea, but I can't tell you when was the last time it wasn't an issue.

I would love to elaborate on this, but really, I guess it would be much better to show you this video: Peggy Orenstein - What Young Women Believe About Their Own Sexual Pleasure.

Basically, the lady was talking about how young women use their partners' happiness as a measure for their satisfaction instead of their own feelings. It hit me hard as that was what I used to believe in as well (although I've never had sex).

Hah, I know the points I've made above makes me sound like I'm bias towards a gender, but no I am not.

I'm proud to call myself a feminist. As a feminist, I love men. I would totally marry a man who is able to handle me. As a feminist, I believe in gender equality. And this does not only apply to female but also male.

Why can't guys wear pink?!!

Somebody once asked me, "don't you think that guy is weird? He wears pink!"
I frowned, "what's wrong with that? He can wear whatever color he likes and it has nothing to do with gender."

Why are guys expected to hide their feelings as a sign of being strong?

I once saw a friend of mine posting a status saying something like he should hold his feelings back or else he will be seen as being weak.

I don't understand why. I mean, hiding your feelings occasionally in order not to ruin a situation is completely understandable. But when it comes to heart-to-heart talk, I just don't get why guys still have to hold their feelings back. I wouldn't mind lending a shoulder to my male friends who are sobbing or even crying. I will never take the act of crying as being weak. We are all humans. We all have feelings and we all need our own ways to let it all out.

Edit: According to statistics from CDC, males take their own lives at nearly four times the rate of females and represent 77.9% of all suicides, even though females are more likely than males to have suicidal thoughts. Based on the info from The Good Men Project, globally, 510,000 men die from suicide each year and that’s one every minute. 

Why do guys get praised for not being a virgin, yet girls get praised for saving themselves?

I once asked a guy if he thinks that being a virgin after the age of 15 is something shameful. He told me that it would be rather embarrassing, and it's like getting the green light if a guy is able to fuck a girl at a young age.

There was also this horrible saying - which I assume many of you had heard of:

Guys are like keys and girls are like locks. A key that can unlock many different locks is a very useful key, yet a lock that can be unlocked by many different keys is a broken lock.

It is one of the worst saying I have ever heard of in my entire life.

I've heard stories from friends, where their boyfriends care so much about their virginity that they would not be dating them if they've lost their V cards to the other guys. I was shocked. So guys can fuck around to prove their masculines, yet girls can't have any intercourse before 'meeting the right ones'? Like how is anybody going to know what the future holds?

And honestly, if you care about your girlfriend's virginity more than her feelings and make her feel guilty about it, please slap yourself until your ego is able to step down and learns what true love is.

I would definitely write more on this, but it's been a long day and I'm hella tired. I'm gonna end this post with Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's speech in Beyoncé's Flawless -
We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, "You can have ambition but not too much, you should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man." Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage, I am expected to make my life choices, always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support, but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage, and we don't teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors, not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.
Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.
Have a great night, and I pray for a world with true gender equality.
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