Skip to main content


Just checking in!

These days, I have like serious mood swings trying to figure out what is going on in my life and how to deal with it. Sometimes, I feel happy, energetic and optimistic, picturing about the bright future that I've longed for; yet sometimes, I feel emotional, exhausted and pessimistic, thinking about how unrealistic my imagination is.

People have been asking me about what I want to do after STPM. I have a lot in mind - to travel, to dedicate all my time to dance, to continue keeping fit, etc., but I know that they are referring to which university I'm going to apply or which course I'm going to enrolled.

What a waste, what a disappointment, what a ___; when I say that I'm not planning to go for a degree, spending another 4 years stuck in university before I can venture my way out in the world.

I feel like I could have done so many things if I am not stuck in school. I've turned many opportunities down because "sorry, I need to go to school". For the time I …
Recent posts

I almost drown in my dream, literally

I went on a roller coaster with a few friends of mine. I do not remember who they are. Just a strange feeling like I don't really know them but I do..? Whatever that doesn't really matter.

Anyway, the roller coaster wasn't big, in fact, it was quite small, but it was special as it was built across a river, a yellow muddy river. The seats looked very different - it was a moving closed container with windows opened on sides. It was like a bus, a fast-moving bus.

My friends and I were getting ready for the ride, carrying our backpacks along. It started to rain, and the rail got slippery, but anyway the first round was a joy ride. What do I mean by first round...? That's because the roller coaster didn't stop. In fact, it started the second round and that's when I started to feel weird. The water level of the river started to rise, and the river started to flow faster. The rain got heavier and heavier, and within minutes, the water level had risen above the rail.



Back in the days where I was a total mess after a bad breakup, I worked hard to put up my brave front, shed no tears and face everyday with an aggressive attitude. I tried so hard just to tell myself that I'm fine being on my own and I do not need anybody else to complete my life.

And I was called a feminist, not really in a good way.

I felt truly insulted. I don't know, but it feels like feminist is somebody who is not lovable nor approachable. It feels like a feminist is equivalent of being alone and meant to be a virgin for the rest of her life.

It took me years to realize that feminism is not that bad after all. In fact, it is something I should be proud of.

I'm not going to talk in depth about the first and second waves of feminism in the history. I'm just going to talk about feminism in the present, where many people would assume that "it's just a bunch of females getting butthurt over some random shit".

Recently, my class had been told something li…

Just the little things.

Yeah yeah, I know 2nd semester exam is coming soon but I just can't help to engage in extra-curricular activities. I mean, life is not only about studying, or is it?

I'm just gonna write a quick review about how much I've done for the past 4 months. I haven't done this in awhile, but I really need to write it all out now so that I don't feel like a worthless piece of shit. Hah!

I started staying over at my cousin's on the weekdays. I've been learning to cook my own meals and waking up without mum's calling. (Fyi, I overslept once. Woke up and realized that it's way past 7. What to do? Skipped school.)

Things I've tried to make:
1. Pancakes
2. Pancakes
3. Pancakes
4. Grilled meat (and just learned that the chicken needed to be marinated for 20 minutes before you grill it. I know, I know, how surprising for 19 years old.)
5. Tacos! (I made it. So it's good. Yup.)

Honestly it's hard to figure out a new easy recipe. If you have any s…

Zion National Park, Utah

If you picture United States of America as a place full of skyscrapers, you are wrong. And yes, I was wrong.

If you picture all national parks as greenish forests, you are wrong. And yes, I was wrong again.

Maybe I'm the only one who had a boring picture about national parks. I thought national parks are just like rainforest but with a trail for you to hike. Turns out, Zion doesn't look as what I was expecting at all. (one habit when I was in Vegas - I didn't want to search any image about the place I'm about to visit - better keep it as a surprise!)
In fact, it's much prettier than what I had imagined.

I cropped this from Google Map because I bet you don't know where Utah is. It's a state right beside where I lived in - Nevada. And yes, FYI, Las Vegas is in Nevada. Growing up, I've heard all about Las Vegas, but I had never heard about Nevada until I knew I was going to stay there for 5 months. And I'm sure that I'm not the only uninformed one …

California, don't stop the party #2

Knott's Berry Farm, Buena Park
This place is claimed to be the first amusement park in America. I had tons of fun with my host family and Lizzy and Isabella here! I'm so proud of myself for going on the Silver Bullet ride. I was so excited when I was in line, but I was like 'GEEZ GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE' the moment I had my seat belt buckled. And then I screamed on top of my lungs thinking that I was going to die.

Oh and by the way, I love the boysenberry sauce here! It's so dang good. I had fried alligator bites (I know that sounds so weird) but it tastes so good! Kind of like a combination of chicken and shrimp. Dipped in boysenberry sauce. Yummmm! So. Good.

Here's a short video of the Silver Bullet ride from other user on Youtube:

It was tons of fun!!
Universal Studios Hollywood, Universal City
I'm really lucky because The Wizarding World of Harry Potter was opened to the public back in April 2016. Like the timing is so dang right I cry.
This. Place. Is.…

California, don't stop the party #1

During my time in America, I visited California for about three times. And I can't deny that I do like the place a lot. I don't remember too much of the details, but I'll just write everything that I can remember.

Third Street Promenade, Santa Monica

I like this area a lot. It's like an outdoor shopping mall - where you can dine in and shop for clothes. The atmosphere is just very relaxing as it is also near the beach. It is also another favorite place of the street performers to show off their talents. If given a chance I would definitely walk around this place for the entire day!

I remember having dinner at a Middle-Eastern restaurant in the promenade with my host mum and sis. Geez, pita bread dipped in hummus is bomb!

The Pier, Santa Monica

This looks like a best go-to place for teenagers. There are ferris wheel, mini thrilling rides and so on. If I remember it correctly there was a mini concert or like a rave when I was there. Tons of booth selling souvenirs to the t…