Hey guys, I wondered if you miss my blog, because I miss writing stuff and share my thoughts with all of you.
p/s: This is a very long post. I didn't expect myself to write this longggggggg, but I did. Too much experience to tell. So if you're lazy to read all of them, make sure you read the last 3 paragraphs, okay? x
#DinnerTableBabes - Samantha, YuanRong, Cawan, EnQi, JianLiang, JingShen, Ang, Raj, Derrick
p/s: This is a very long post. I didn't expect myself to write this longggggggg, but I did. Too much experience to tell. So if you're lazy to read all of them, make sure you read the last 3 paragraphs, okay? x
At the moment I received an email regarding YES Selection Camp, I jumped up and down, hopped from the living room to my bedroom and back to the living room again. I was really happy I can even FLY without wings. But after the happiness, here comes my stress. I discussed about the preparation with Rachel, one of my internet friend (not anymore, it's friend in real life now) from Terengganu who was also one of the candidates. I read through a lot of stuff about Malaysian cultures, American cultures and also issues about Greek economy and 1MDB. I was feeling too nervous and stressed out and I had been very bad-tempered. And I'm hereby apologize for that.
I had only 8 days to prepare myself for the camp. To be really honest, I knew both my mind and my heart wasn't in a good condition when I stepped into the hotel lobby. I didn't take the initiative to walk around and talk to everyone I meet, instead, I was just standing there beside my parents, and observing every single one of them. No longer, I joined a group of girls, introducing myself and we talked about some random stuff. Suddenly, everyone in the lobby was like 'let's form a big circle and introduce ourselves', and at that moment, I started to feel very uncomfortable. Like I said, I was observing everyone. Some of them look shy and quiet, but they are nice and friendly. Some of them look very sporting and friendly and easy-going. Some of them look nice but through their eyes I can see that they don't really want to be your friend, all they want is to be in the limelight. Don't tell me that my observation is wrong. I AM EXPERIENCED IN OBSERVING PEOPLE. (jk) I was panicked and I don't know how am I going to survive for the following days because I just can't feel the sincerity.
And yes luckily I met Pavitha, who sat beside me during the briefing session. We were then playing some ice breaking games and yeah finally we were finally given our room keys and were allowed to go back to our room to settle down our luggage. At first, the volunteer told me that I don't have a roommate and that I'm alone in my room when she gave me my room key. I was in a total shock because I can't imagine staying in the hotel room alone. (We all heard about horror stories, right?) And I was thinking if I am able to mingle around with the other participants. And I was thinking if I am able to wake up on time on the next day. (Alarm doesn't work on me.) And I was also comforting myself like this is a great chance for me to become truly independent. So yeah.. I went into my room with all these thoughts.
No longer, somebody knocked on my door and I wished that it was my roommate. And yes my wish came true. It was QianWen. We settled down and we went for dinner together. I sat with her and her group of friends whom she met earlier in the afternoon. I was scared that they'll think I'm an overly attached roommate and I sat with them without asking. I kept quiet and listened to their conversation while having my dinner. After we had our meal, we walked back to the Grand Ballroom and joined the activities. For your information, there will be ELTiS test for you, just to test your English level and you have to write 3 in-class essays too. Before we left the hall, I was told to wear formal attire early in the morning tomorrow because I'm one of those lucky people to be interviewed in the first session. I didn't sleep well at night. My mind was tensed, and the room temperature was too cold, I woke up for a few times.
On the next day, I dressed up in my formal attire, and so did my roommate. After having our breakfast, we went to the ballroom and joined the session. No longer, I was being called for the interview. There were 3 volunteers to help running the interview. Two of them called for the interviewee for Kelantan and Sarawak chapter. And then my name was called. Without thinking twice, I followed that two volunteers and walked to the next building. In the lift, they asked 'so you guys are from Kelantan? and you guys are from Sarawak?' and I was like 'wait a minute, I'm from Damansara chapter!'. Two of them was shocked, and keep on calming me down like 'okay, chill, chill, calm yourself, chill, okay?' and gave me instructions to walk to my interview room. (The more they asked me to chill, the more I was panicked.) So yeah I followed the instructions and walked into the interview room. And guess what? My volunteer was not there yet, and the four interviewers are looking at me. I was like 'oh my goodness I am so sorry I was looking for my volunteer'. One of the interviewers walked me out of the room and calm me down. Oh gosh, I did such a mistake, I don't know how am I supposed to calm down. Without given any minute to sit and chill, I was the first one being interviewed. I don't know what did I say during the interview, because my mind was a total blank, and World War III was going on in my mind, my mind and my mouth didn't connect with each other. I screwed up the interview badly. I know that I don't stand a chance anymore. So yeah, I felt very moody after that. I can't pay attention to the activities that were going on in the ballroom. Jian Liang sat beside me and talked a little to me. (I appreciated that very much, thank you.) (And we were not allowed to side-talking.) And I don't remember how I went through the rest of the activities, just that I had a lot of fun while having dinner with them.
That night, Samantha and YuanRong came to my room. We talked about boys and exes. LOL! It was fun to share our stories to each other, even though we've only met for days. They planned to sleep in our room, but unfortunately, volunteers came to check our room and they had to leave. I don't know who suggested it, but we the #dinnertablebabes planned to wake up at 4am and chill at the lakeside. It was crazy, I know. I doubted if I can really make it. I crave for 7 hours of sleep everyday.
So yeah, we slept at 1am and woke up at 4am, just to chill beside the lake together. I really made it, feeling so proud of myself. I'm sure you will think that lakeside sounds really cool, but simply for your information, lakeside in KL area is definitely warm as hell even in the early morning. However, I still enjoyed talking to them. It was the best moment in the entire camp.
The last section of the camp is to build a robot. In this section, the volunteers have the right to 'kill' anyone of us. For example, when she points at someone and says 'kill your eyes', that person has to be blindfolded and is not allowed to peak. Some of my teammates were 'killed'. They were banned from talking, banned from using their hands and lots more. This is the time where I discovered my talent in understanding sign language! *Laughs* I was like the only one who understand what my 'dead' teammates trying to say. I feel so cool. Please give me a round loud of applause. By the way, our robot can do a lot of stuff, vacuuming, cheering you up, etc. It can convert solar energy, heat energy, sound energy and even frictional force into chemical energy. So yeah, it's eco-friendly. Interested? Please contact xxxxxx for more infomation.
Finally, it's time to say goodbye. I gained a lot of exposure through this camp. It really broadens my view towards everything. I don't know why but I really feel like an ambassador, carrying the responsibility in promoting world peace. I really agree with Vio that we should forget about this camp and carry on with our life. No matter who got the scholarship and who don't, life goes on. There is always a better plan waiting for us ahead. Of course, I won't forget the friends I've met there. I felt sad and grateful at the same time, because I met you guys who were sincere to me. I wish you guys all the best, and I hope our friendship lasts as long as possible. I'm really looking forward to our next meal together. ;)
#DinnerTableBabes - Samantha, YuanRong, Cawan, EnQi, JianLiang, JingShen, Ang, Raj, Derrick
p/s: I realized that our school is really good at 'burying' the talented people. Yes, I know, there are many popular kids in our school. However, most of them only know how to act cool, and that is all. There are many talented people in our school who didn't get the chance to shine and didn't get the popularity they deserved. So, if you're one of the popular kids in school, don't be arrogant and proud. Keep in mind that there are many people better than you out there. Stay humble. The world existed before you were born.
I realized that I become vulnerable and weak after this camp. My self-esteem dropped like economy Malaysia. I told myself that it's okay to be weak, and that I'll get through this. Thanks friends, for all those wishes before I went to the camp, and for all those comforts after I came back from my interview with a sad face. I love every single one of you.
And I don't know why, even though I feel weak and vulnerable, I am still very happy. Maybe because I'm honest to myself that I'm weak, maybe because of you my dearest friends who always be there for me, maybe because I know that no matter what, I will always love and be loved.
Till we meet again, x