Skip to main content

Just another random post

Hello peeps. As you know (or maybe you don't), I used to write journals almost every day when I was in Vegas. I'm not entirely sure why I don't really write journal nowadays, probably because I'm too lazy to hand-write it all, so I'm just gonna post more here.

You know, sometimes I really appreciate that people view my blog. (Yes, I appreciate you who are reading this, though I have no idea who you are.) Thanks for passing by even though there's nothing much helpful - unlike any other blogger, I don't write about recipes, or fashion trend, or life hacks, I just simply like to share my thoughts. I swear I would be the richest person on Earth if I get paid for every single thought that passes through my mind.

That one thought that still haunts me for almost 8 months and I believe that it won't go away for the next 5 years - I want to go back to Vegas.

I'm sure many people out there are annoyed. A part of me is annoyed too. Like geez, En Qi, face the reality you loser. Drowning in memories isn't going to change anything at all. Move on. Move the hell on. Stop thinking about the past. It won't lead you no where.

If only it's that easy to control your emotions.

Though I didn't need to pay for anything in terms of money for the entire exchange program - except some vaccinations required, I believe that the price I need to pay is to feel empty for a pretty long time. A part of me is just varnished. Gone. 

I have no idea how to tell you about this, but I really miss being Angie. She's wonderful, amazing, brave, confident and easy-to-hang-around with. She calls her family in Malaysia occasionally, and she always have tons of stories to share, and she hangs out a lot with her host family, she might get awkward with her friends but she's okay, she volunteers weekly, she is very curious and she has a fierce soul. She doesn't know what she wants to do in the future, but she knows that her future is going to be amazing.

Alright, enough of that, I did something amazing today.

Went to TESCO to do some grocery shopping as I'm staying with my cousin on weekdays now. I made tortilla and also cooked taco meat by myself. Ugh, I forgot about cheddar cheese tho. Anyway, my cousin said it was pretty good. I'm so happy! Haha it's my first time having taco (I mean, not a really amazing one, but still counts) after coming back from America.

I'm still dreaming big. And honestly my dream has nothing related to what I'm studying right now. I wish I knew what I wanted to do before taking science stream.

I used to look up to the sky a lot when I was in Vegas. The sky in Vegas is not cloudy at all - just plain sky blue during the day and full of stars at night. I love to watch the Big Dipper, especially when I'm in the jacuzzi with my host family.

Whenever I miss Vegas, I tend to look up to the sky. It's like the slightest connection I have with that wonderful place.

I tear up every time I think about it, yet I smile every time my tear falls.

Have a great night. I love y'all.

Popular posts from this blog

Life as a Form 6 Student / STPM Candidate

Update @ 27/3/19:  Since Google+ comment has been turned down, I've posted another post, Should You Go for Form 6/STPM here . Feel free to ask or comment. More than glad to help! Back in 2016, I joined Form 6 without second thoughts because I didn't want to limit my options for the future (which is why I turned down a 100% scholarship for foundation in Xiamen University Malaysia) I didn't want to pay for A-Levels (I could only get partial scholarships) I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and I didn't want to choose a diploma yet I swear to God, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was a straight A's student in SPM 2015 and yet I find STPM extremely challenging. If I say I worked 100% hard for my SPM, I definitely worked at least 800% harder for STPM. Like my friend once said, you won't know if you are really good in academics until you've come to STPM. 10A's in SPM is really nothing compared to 4.0 in STPM.  I took Pengajian

Life In The U.S.A. #8 - Close to The End

Counting down 9 days till I leave Vegas... Yes, I'm excited to go home and meet my beloved family and friends, but I'm really sad to leave my wonderful host family and my amazing friends. I still remember how I felt during my flight. I was nervous but super excited that meet my host family. I was thinking how should I call them and what I can say if things get awkward. And yay I arrived. I remember the first thing I saw when I arrived at the McCarran International Airport - slot machines. Dang. It's Vegas being Vegas. *laugh* (And guess what? There are slot machines in the pharmacies too! No idea why but it doesn't matter. It's Vegas. That explains it all.) I remember my host mum was looking smoking hot at the airport :P And we went to... (Let's just skip it. I swear I can tell you every single detail that happened on my first day here but I don't know how long I will take to finish it.) My exchange journey had been amazing. It's full of ups and do

Feminism

Back in the days where I was a total mess after a bad breakup, I worked hard to put up my brave front, shed no tears and face everyday with an aggressive attitude. I tried so hard just to tell myself that I'm fine being on my own and I do not need anybody else to complete my life. And I was called a feminist, not really in a good way. I felt truly insulted. I don't know, but it feels like feminist is somebody who is not lovable nor approachable. It feels like a feminist is equivalent of being alone and meant to be a virgin for the rest of her life. It took me years to realize that feminism is not that bad after all. In fact, it is something I should be proud of. I'm not going to talk in depth about the first and second waves of feminism in the history. I'm just going to talk about feminism in the present, where many people would assume that "it's just a bunch of females getting butthurt over some random shit". Recently, my class had been told som