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Just another random post

Hello peeps. As you know (or maybe you don't), I used to write journals almost every day when I was in Vegas. I'm not entirely sure why I don't really write journal nowadays, probably because I'm too lazy to hand-write it all, so I'm just gonna post more here.

You know, sometimes I really appreciate that people view my blog. (Yes, I appreciate you who are reading this, though I have no idea who you are.) Thanks for passing by even though there's nothing much helpful - unlike any other blogger, I don't write about recipes, or fashion trend, or life hacks, I just simply like to share my thoughts. I swear I would be the richest person on Earth if I get paid for every single thought that passes through my mind.

That one thought that still haunts me for almost 8 months and I believe that it won't go away for the next 5 years - I want to go back to Vegas.

I'm sure many people out there are annoyed. A part of me is annoyed too. Like geez, En Qi, face the reality you loser. Drowning in memories isn't going to change anything at all. Move on. Move the hell on. Stop thinking about the past. It won't lead you no where.

If only it's that easy to control your emotions.

Though I didn't need to pay for anything in terms of money for the entire exchange program - except some vaccinations required, I believe that the price I need to pay is to feel empty for a pretty long time. A part of me is just varnished. Gone. 

I have no idea how to tell you about this, but I really miss being Angie. She's wonderful, amazing, brave, confident and easy-to-hang-around with. She calls her family in Malaysia occasionally, and she always have tons of stories to share, and she hangs out a lot with her host family, she might get awkward with her friends but she's okay, she volunteers weekly, she is very curious and she has a fierce soul. She doesn't know what she wants to do in the future, but she knows that her future is going to be amazing.

Alright, enough of that, I did something amazing today.

Went to TESCO to do some grocery shopping as I'm staying with my cousin on weekdays now. I made tortilla and also cooked taco meat by myself. Ugh, I forgot about cheddar cheese tho. Anyway, my cousin said it was pretty good. I'm so happy! Haha it's my first time having taco (I mean, not a really amazing one, but still counts) after coming back from America.

I'm still dreaming big. And honestly my dream has nothing related to what I'm studying right now. I wish I knew what I wanted to do before taking science stream.

I used to look up to the sky a lot when I was in Vegas. The sky in Vegas is not cloudy at all - just plain sky blue during the day and full of stars at night. I love to watch the Big Dipper, especially when I'm in the jacuzzi with my host family.

Whenever I miss Vegas, I tend to look up to the sky. It's like the slightest connection I have with that wonderful place.

I tear up every time I think about it, yet I smile every time my tear falls.

Have a great night. I love y'all.
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